Real Life Biblical Answers for Real Life Problems "The One"

by Pastor Michael Eaton

This Q&A series is from my book “How To Be Bless As A Christian Single." You can get a copy of the book at
www.holidayhillsbaptistchurch.com/eBooks.html.


1. Is it better for me to live my life single and service the Lord or should I give in to the pressures of my family, friends, members of my church, and society at large who all are saying in one chorus of voices that I should be looking for “the one” to marry?

“The One”

But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. 1 Cor. 7:32-35

First of all let me let you know the you are not alone in your singleness. The U.S. Census says the number of unmarried adults in the United States as of March 2001 is as following:

51 million had never been married. 21
million were currently divorced. 14
million were widowed. The singles of
the US made up 86 million. This is
almost half the U.S. pollution.

Also let me let you know that you are not alone in your frustration and discrimination with your family, society at large and sadly to say even the church. Many of the early church fathers and mothers (like Dr. Luke, Lydia, Barnabas, Timothy, Mary, Martha, Lazarus, Phoebe, Paul and Jesus Christ himself) were single. In sprite of this fact many singles in our day and time feel like they are exiles in the church. Many pastors who are single will not be considered by pastor search committees to fill a senior pastor position. I myself have had churches discriminate again for me for a senior pastor position simply because I was single.

George Brana says that 94% of Senior Pastor is married. With singleness being the only reason many pastorless church disqualify would be pastors, sadly to say in our times Jesus Christ could not pastor His church. In our times Paul would not be able to pastor the churches he started. Many of the churches would be reading only half the New Testament. The reason being is because Paul wrote half the New Testament to the churches he started. With out singles in the bible there would be no salvation, no church, no New Testament, no gentile churches in America.

The Church of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is in many ways distracted by the things of this world. We would see a great harvest if your family, friends, people at the church and society at large would share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. However it seems that our whole society is sharing the gospel of married life. Marriage is not eternal. The bible says that there will be no marriage in heaven.

Mark 12:25 says, “For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.” Marriage is not a destination. It is a method of travel. The best method of travel in the servant to our Lord and Jesus Christ, the bibles says is singleness. That is why so many of the early leaders of the church were single.

This bring me to answering your question. Biblical singleness is to be a time of single minded devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. It is not to be a time of single minded distraction to finding a mate or “the one.” If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior you already have “The One.” I, like Paul would want you to spend your singleness in undistracted devotion to the Lord. Be holy both in body and spirit and think of how you may please the Lord.